To want to be 'normal',
is to want to be 'mediocre'.

For those people that want to be 'normal, remember that 'normal' means the same as 'average', and 'average' means 'mediocre', or 'not very good', or 'not very bad', either. Why would you set such a low goal for yourself? Do my children deserve a 'mediocre' dad? Can I be happy being a 'mediocre' husband? Do you want to be a mediocre ... anything? Not I. Now, don't get me wrong, I am very mediocre in several areas of my life, but they are unimportant to me. My singing voice for example, according to some, it would be very generous to call it ... mediocre. My baseball swing, my body-shape, my wardrobe, my pick-em-up truck are all rather bland, and even mediocre. There's nothing wrong with that, because they are not high priorities with me.

Here's another way to look at the danger of normalcy. The root word for 'healthy' and 'holy' is the same word. From a medical point of view, few would argue that 'Healthy' is better than 'normal', which is better than 'sick'! As for my important relationships, I want NOTHING to do with normal, I want better than that. I also see it as my responsibility to make those relationships better than normal. "If it is to be, it is up to me." I make my efforts as if that little sentence were true, and I pray as if my efforts will always be futile.

I believe that it is not very commendable to set 'being normal' as a goal! That's like trying to become independent! How foolish, because independence is very lonely and very many people are lonely because they achieved independence and then stopped! While independence is higher than dependence, it is not as high as interdependence. That's when you need other people and other people need you. That's when you are vital to others, and they are vital to you. You're not alone.

Here is some differences between 'quality' and 'normal', as to families or teams:


Healthy / Holy / Nurturing /Great ... Families/Teams

People feel free to talk about inside feelings.
All feelings are accepted.
It is accepted to talk about anything, even one's opinions.
Opinions are shared, not imposed on each other.
It is accepted for family members to be different.
It is accepted for members to think differently, be individuals.
Each person is responsible for their own actions.
Very few 'shoulds'.
Rules are human / humane.
Coping mechanisms with which to cope with crises.
Atmosphere is relaxed, joyous.
People have energy, feel loving.
People have high self-worth.
People are stroked for who they are.
Consequences are natural results, are allowed and encouraged.


Less Nurturing / Normal / Lower-Functioning ... Families/Teams

People use defenses to SURVIVE.
Only good feelings are accepted.
Many subjects are taboo / forbidden, especially opinions that differ from the authority.
People are told what opinions they should have.
Lots of secrets from outsiders, each other.
Everyone must conform to strongest person's ideas, values.
Family must think and feel alike.
Rigid expectations.
Overabundance of control and criticism.
Punishment (punitive, destroys, tears down).
Manipulation.
Lots of 'SHOULDS'.
Inhuman / Inhumane rules.
Atmosphere is tense.
Lots of anger, hurt, fear.
People feel tired, hurt, disappointed.
People have low self-worth.
People begin to keep their feelings inside, no possibility of intimacy.
People are stroked for what they can do.