Increasing Your Interdependence
Independence is not a high enough goal for mature, able people. We can be more than an island in the ocean. We can be valuable to others and they can be valuable to us. If you set independence as your highest goal, you are quite possibly, very self-centered. When my parents helped me set 'self-reliance' as a goal, I was being very self-centered. There's more to life than that. To want to be able to make it on your own, is a view of life focused directly on yourself. I think this a very valid world view when one's survival is in question, but once that is assured, it may be more mature to look higher. At least it was for me. I don't want to be independent, as I now know many people that want to achieve that, and don't have all the necessary talents, skills and gifts to do so. I betray my talents and gifts, as well as my loved ones, if all I am willing to settle for is to be ... independent. I call myself higher, and to get there need help that I can not find within me, I need resources outside of me to get to what I call interdependence. To want to be a benefit to others, and to want to need help from others, to want to be reliant on relationships with other people, to want to be reliable in relationships with other people.
One thing we do with others, is convince and lead. Either as a leader, or a mentor, or even as a salesman. Of course, if you aren't really going anywhere, there is no way to follow you there. Once you have a well-thought-out direction, or goal for yourself, you'll find that it will be much easier to find followers. Being wishy-washy about your own future may indicate that you aren't ready to lead. The quality of your vision for the future may determine the quality of your followers, and may be determined by your vision of yourself.
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Actions, Attitude or Atmosphere What should you put your efforts towards influencing when you need others to follow you.
Normal or Healthy Teams You can 'settle for' being normal, or having 'normal' followers. But you may not want to do so anymore after reading this. Your followers deserve better than a 'normal' leader, don't they?
Involved or Committed? Do you take from others, or do you give to them? Are the people on the planet better off because you are here, and active?
Are you an A C T O R? One way to show the qualities of a leader.
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Spiritual Leadership: moving People on to God's Agenda. This is one of the greatest books on leading other people that I have ever read, or given to friends as a gift.
Bringing Out the Best in People I've used this as a manager, naval leader, counselor, father, and co-worker. This is very good stuff!
How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie I have given away over 50 copies of this one over the years. Impressive book. It is well written and very easy to read. Just take your time doing so.
First, Break All the Rules Published by the Gallup Poll Organization. This is the largest study of its kind ever taken, showing "What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently" This is a HUGE study of the world's greatest managers and what they do differently. If you are a great manager, this will reinforce what you already know. If you are normal, or mediocre, this may help you wake up!
Greatest Salesman in The World, by Og Mandino Some say that leadership starts within. Well, if so, this book may be the key. Going through the scrolls in this story helped me during a tough time.